Updated: Aug 17, 2020
First of all - you are not alone.
It is a common feeling to feel low self-worth and value. Before the feeling of "I’m not good enough” comes the feeling of “I didn’t do that good enough”. To stem this, we will look at the following areas:
The 1st stage – validation through others
Possibly by default or certainly over time and culture, we constantly look to have validation in ourselves through others. For example:
feeling better or only feeling good when somebody tells us we our doing well in the real world AND/OR
feeling better or only feeling good when somebody ‘likes’ us or praises us in the virtual world
Now we know the key cause, let's look at ways to venture away from validation through others:
building skills which builds confidence
focus on solutions which builds a positive mindset
never stop learning and seeking knowledge
write down what you are grateful for
The 2nd stage – desperation
Sometimes, we can find ourselves constantly keeping busy to feel fulfilled. If this then stops, we all of a sudden start feeling desperate.
Let’s look at some ways to venture away from desperation:
acceptance of who you are and that you’re already good enough (this should not be in an arrogant manner)
inspiration to improve
being able to detox at will from what is currently socially accepted (e.g. phones, social media, going out) and feel at peace or ease with it
the points above this shouldn’t be due to loneliness or depression, but rather a practice
Summary: building confidence, love for self, and gratitude can improve self-worth and confidence, which should in turn steer us away from the 1st stage and 2nd stage. However, the key is that the 1st stage and 2nd stage become bonuses, not a default setting as there may still be some goodness in the 1st and 2nd stage.
Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.